You Can Have it All (If You're Willing to Wait)

The other day, I saw this wonderful quote. It said: "Don't buy the $300 bag to have nothing in it. Buy the $20 bag and have $280 to go in it."

I love this quote for so many reasons. Probably because it defies the consumeristic voice that surrounds us. This is the choice to have less, to spend less, and to not have to be "on trend."

Given my involvement in the vintage clothing industry (I sell vintage clothing online), I realize that while this quote is true, there is a way to get around it -- a way to have it all.

The truth is, you can have that $300 bag for only $20. You can have both...you just have to be willing to wait for it. I buy and resell (and wear) a lot of vintage clothing and accessories. And trust me, there are very expensive handbags out there for a fraction of the price. I see them all the time.

If you're trendy, this won't work for you. But, if you're into classics, if you're into quality, if you're into having less but having better, my friend, you can have the $300 bag for $20, but it will cost you time instead of money. 

And that is where most people fail. Waiting. You have to deny yourself instant gratification to have it all later. You have to search and look for that piece you want at estate sales, garage sales, thrift stores, or Facebook Marketplace. You do the work of looking now, and then it's a time game until it shows up. I know this from experience. Things I bought and sold fifteen years ago can rarely show up again in another ten years. Other items are a dime a dozen, and I've sold many repeats.

But this is also where the value of the piece lies. Waiting for it, and looking for it, because the reward is great when you do find it.

Here are a few reasons to buy vintage:

1. Quality - It's all about the bottom line in the textiles and manufacturing industry today, so the cheaper the item can be made, the better the profit. Gone are the days of making something to last. Most things you buy today are meant to last a season or two. This is also why I tend to buy and sell vintage USA-made only items. The quality, a mere twenty years ago (let alone fifty), is like night and day. So, by holding out and waiting to find that vintage bag for $20, you're truly getting a bag that's not only worth a whole lot more, but is going to last you ten times longer than any new $20 fake leather bag from Target. 

2. Uniqueness - Why be like everyone else? With vintage, I can guarantee you'll have trouble finding anyone near you with the same item. You will stand out. That bag on your shoulder will be a quality piece that most ladies around you won't have. And that you paid a fraction of the cost of it, well, that's just icing on the vintage cake!

3. Sustainability - Have you been in a thrift store lately? If you haven't, I suggest you do. And try not to cry while in there because it can be overwhelming. There are so many clothes, so many new clothes still with tags on them, stuffed in the racks. And most of the items, after a short life in the thrift store, will end up overseas or in a landfill. By buying gently used items, quality, classic items - items you couldn't even think about buying today for pennies on the dollar because they don't make clothing the same anymore - you're helping to keep one more piece out of the landfill. You're being responsible, wise, protecting the earth, and saving yourself money.

Your money or your time? Pick one. Have the bag you want now for the money (and an empty wallet), or wait for the bag for a whole lot less and get quality, uniqueness, and sustainability with it. There's no question the second choice is the one for me, which is probably why I'm so happy in the vintage industry.

If you want to buy that $300 bag now, fine. That's up to you. It's different for everyone. But, if you're feeling a bit squeamish about spending that money, then don't. Try a different route: hunt for it, wait for it, and then spend less for it.

You can have it all (if you're willing to wait.) And guess what? Here's a little bonus to take away today: This motto works for nearly every area of your life. Why go broke looking rich now, with immediate gratification, when with a little time and patience, you can have it all? 

New Year Thoughts

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, there seem to be two groups of thought:

• Make resolutions (these resolutions will help to create the new you) or
• Don't make resolutions (you don't need resolutions to be better, anyway!)

In my opinion, having tried both forms, it's a little bit of each to reach the place I want to be.

Making resolutions, or for me, writing out goals, creates growth in my life. If I don't have goals, I flounder dreadfully. If I'm not aiming for improvement, it creates stagnation. And if I'm being truthful, I feel lost without goals. 

Goals give me purpose; a sense of working toward an accomplishment. A way to gauge my progress. Even if that goal is small or simple, if I'm working toward it, then it means I'm in the process of transformation, which means I'm working with change, not against it.

I think the problem with the option of not making resolutions, because you don't want to, is more of a wake-up call to where you're at. 

You may be in the midst of serious life-changing events, and adding the goal of losing 10 pounds is too much. Of course, this makes sense! Making resolutions will only add to the stress... at the moment. 

But what about when things settle down? And you have time to think through what you want? Making a few goals for the New Year, even if you wait a few months to start them, is perfectly worthy.

Also, people make unrealistic goals, myself included. Which is where this whole "I'm not making resolutions this year!" comes from. We've made goals for ourselves, failed, and don't want to go through failure yet again.

This is where I let simplicity take center stage. Less is more. Don't make a list of twenty goals (unless you want to). Instead, make a list of three. Write down three goals for three areas:

• spiritual
• physical
• mental

For me, this looks like "create more moments of prayer" for the spiritual category, "add in a walk every day of the week this year" for the physical category, and "write more" for the mental category.

It's not overwhelming, yet I haven't forgone the resolution-making just to make myself feel better. I do need to do more in all three of these categories, but they can start small and evolve over the year.

And when it comes to your health, start simple: start with three categories, find something you can change for each one, and start.

When we look at it from a minimalist perspective, it takes all of our resolutions and goals, directs them into three categories, and simplifies them into terms that our brains and bodies can work with.

Start the year off right: keep it simple. Shed the 2025 you by slowly changing into the new 2026 you as you work to find what fits best for you right now.

Happy New Year!

The Urge to Consume - Staying Minimalist for the Holidays

Yesterday, two weeks before Christmas, I made a trip to Costco. While I try to avoid this place during the holidays, I figured going in as early as possible with a cup of coffee might make it okay. And it was! It wasn't bad at all. 

I went in for two things. I'd already made the big trip to get all of the things I needed a few weeks ago, and now I needed to get the few things I'd forgotten. I needed chicken and chicken stock, and that was it. No extras, no gifts, and especially no desserts.  But I did want to peruse some of the aisles just for fun. 

That was my first mistake. With free time and the willingness to entertain buying, which isn't hard to do at Costco at Christmas, aisle after aisle had something that I could use, give, or need "for survival." And at the same time, every one of these things wasn't truly needed.

For example, I came across an eight-pack of Christmas hand towels for the kitchen. Of course, I wanted one for the season. It's standard for me to have a holiday hand towel in the kitchen, but the last one I'd had was now being used as a rag, and I needed another. But here was the real question ... did I need eight? 

I stood there looking at the colors of green, red, and blue, and longed for the soft cotton towels. I could easily justify this. I could use one or two and put the rest away for seasons later. But then I'd be storing them. Just "holding this for later," which is pretty much a cardinal sin for all minimalists. That's how we become maximalists!

But the price was right. Incredibly inexpensive. It was a worthy, needed, and inexpensive item. But, eight? I told myself I can go somewhere else, buy one towel, and call it good with zero waste, zero need to store more, and save money in the process.

I walked away from the towels. No one needs eight towels for their kitchen in any season. But Costco, and their advertising ways, made me think that I do; that I'm crazy for walking past this amazing deal! And if I were to do this with everything that tickled my fancy, it's how I would walk out of there with a cart full of stuff I really don't need.

Do you have trouble with this like I do? Here's a to-do list (I momentarily forgot to use) that kicked in once I came to my senses: 

1. Make a list

2. Only buy what's on the list

3. Don't look around unless you're willing to say no to yourself on EVERYTHING

4. Think about why you're buying: need or want?

5. Think about your budget

6. Remind yourself about your style: You are a minimalist

7. Think about staying on track financially

8. Only buy what's on the list (yes, I wrote this twice)

9. Run to the car after checking out, so you don't change your mind!

10. Sip coffee, pat yourself on the back, and drive home satisfied that you made it one more trip to Costco without buying something you didn't need.

So, I'm reconfirming how to shop and stick to both a budget and a minimalist plan because even though I've been doing this minimal thing for a while, it doesn't mean I'm never tempted to buy. And there will be trips that I do need to buy, or hey, sometimes, there's the occasional item that finds itself in the cart, and that's okay!

This trip was a good reminder that there will always be many reasons to spend: because it's fun, because I'm bored, have the money, and want to spend said money. But just because I can, doesn't mean I should. And that's where I want to be: willing to live with less, appreciate what I have, and have the courage and fortitude not to buy something just because it's there. 

Sometimes you just have to say no to yourself, walk away, and let the desire fade on its own (which may take time).

Merry Christmas, my minimalist friends. Stay strong, stick to the list, and all will be well! 

A Christmas to Remember

So far, this year has been nothing like I thought it would be. 

Both my boys moved out of the house earlier in the year, then both got married (the second wedding, a surprise!), and now it means Christmas looks very different from the previous 24 years. That's a lot of years to do the same thing and then to suddenly not. It feels a little bit like being hit by a car. What's going on? What happened? Am I hurt?

Because of that, a part of me wanted to not even put up a tree. What was the point? But let's be honest and realistic - I love Christmas. I love everything about it, from the decor to the music to the Hallmark channel. I love it all, whether my boys loved it or not (which they did.)

So, even if my boys wouldn't be home for Christmas this year, or at least not waking up to Christmas day the way it's been over the last two decades, I could decorate for myself. I could enjoy the season regardless of my circumstances. 

And now that things are different, I could even adjust a few things to make it simpler, less busy, and more the Christmas it needs to be.

What did we do differently? Well, here's a short list, but it's a chance for you to see what I'm changing - what I'm taking away and what I'm adding. And the biggest part about these changes is I could have done them when my kids were home, and really should have, but the pressure of having "the perfect Christmas" kept me from doing it.

Taking out:

1. No outdoor lights - This may be sacrilegious to some, but this year, we didn't do decorative lights on the house. It isn't that we don't love them; we do. But we wanted something different. Instead, we have a wreath that lights up with an automated timer, and it still gives our front door the light and the ambience we desire. Maybe we will again, but for now, this is a perfect fit for our simpler lives.

2. Fake tree - For years, we cut down a live tree. Nothing like the smell of a real tree! But, for various reasons, we didn't cut one down this year. (Truthfully, it was because we missed the window to get the permit. Oops! We were busy with a second wedding, and it slipped our minds.) Because of that, we dusted off the ol' fake tree, brought her out, and made do with her dwindling pine needles. Still a beautiful tree with a whole lot less work. We have the Christmas spirit regardless of the tree!

3. Fewer gifts - This one has been a gradual thing, but over the years, I've opted to get fewer gifts, but nicer gifts, for the family. This may be hard on the kids, like my nieces and nephews, but in the end, quality wins over quantity. I'm also opting for "usable" gifts these days, so items that can be eaten or used, or experienced, not collected and left to rot. 

Adding in:

1. More baking - My diet has changed over the years, as it does when one gets older. For me, I've omitted a great deal of carbs and sugar for protein and fat. My diet has to be a touch stricter than I like due to health reasons, but I am allowed to indulge a bit. And if there is any season to indulge, I'd say Christmas is it. I'm baking a few treats this year, I'm going to embrace the season, and I'm not going to feel bad about it!

2. More Christmas Books - With a simpler life comes the chance to do more of what I love, and for me, that involves more reading. I just perused a bookstore with a friend of mine, and we took photos of books that looked interesting. This way, we control ourselves from buying every book we see, and it allows us to look them up and see if they seem like a good read. Also, I tend to buy digital books these days over physical ones. I also borrow from my digital library (check out Libby if you haven't!) and save a ton of money that way. Holiday books put me into the Christmas season, and it's a small gesture that takes my mind off the changes.

3. More family and friends - With two fewer sons in my home, it allows me more time to be with friends and other family. And is there anything else more worthy than that? I have coffee and lunch dates scheduled for the next few weeks and the new year, and I love it. 

Our Christmas morning of cinnamon rolls and sausages will probably be relegated to just the sausages now. We did the cinnamon rolls for the boys! Yes, it's a tad sobering. But nothing is as constant as change, and with it, we will begin new traditions.

While it will be strange not to go into my boys' room to wake them up Christmas morning (or to find them waiting for us near the Christmas tree or their stockings), we can still FaceTime them, call them, text them, and one year, we will get time to spend with them again. It doesn't even have to be Christmas day, just a day designated as our "Christmas" is all I'll want because the best gift will be just to be with them again.

It's a simple Christmas Day for us this year, but it's going to be a beautiful one with just my husband and me and other family. We will spend it reflecting, I'm sure, but we will also adapt and learn new traditions and new ways of celebrating the season. 

'Tis the Season to Declutter

When times get complicated, it's back to letting go of things.

This has become my motto lately. As we enter the holiday season, it's the only thing I want to turn to: letting go. Since I'm usually the one finding, organizing, and buying the Christmas gifts, the burden of it falls on me (though, bless my husband, he does offer to help), but it's still overwhelming. Then there's decorating the house, cooking, meal planning, and on top of that, everyday life, like work and home life.

This year, both of my sons got married. This is not what we were expecting, and to be honest, I'm still reeling. There was a lot to do, and a whole lot of emotions and feelings behind it. And this is all amidst working, running a home, traveling, and everything in between.

So, how does one stay sane? How can I manage to deal with stress, sorrow, happiness, and life? I keep on paring down. I wrote an article last year about this, and thousands of you have read it. I was going through stressful life events and realized that eliminating stuff while I was going through difficult events helped me see things clearly and helped me adapt to a new normal.

I'm right back to that motto. 

When we're busy, minimal living sometimes gets put on the back burner. We have things to do, people to buy gifts for, and keeping things neat and organized, and free of clutter, does get set to the side. It's not front and center; it's way off in the back of an abandoned closet!

Fortunately for us, at least for me, when things get hectic, paring down to what I love is the immediate action I want to take. I can tackle that pile of mail I hadn't sorted through, organize a shelf that had accumulated things over the course of the last few months, and organize my wardrobe (eliminating the things I'm still not wearing - but thought I would - after years of being a minimalist). My inability to declutter while I was busy has now become the focal point, as I sift through my emotional state of letting go of both of my sons to their beautiful wives.

Decluttering through stressful times helps me cope with it all, and here's the real truth: being busy with minimalism is a form of therapy.

1. Clear the clutter, clear the mind: This is the number one reason why I declutter when stressed and why I should declutter when I'm going through things. When I clear the clutter around me, it helps to clear all the "open tabs" in my brain. As I let go and sort through the debris in my physical life, it allows me to focus on the emotional events I'm going through and sift through what I need to think about and what I truly don't. It allows me to breathe. Allows the overwhelm around me to dissipate. Clearing the clutter, getting rid of what I don't need and doesn't serve me, allows me to navigate my new life events - because let's be real, if you're alive, you're going to always be going to and from new life events - and with a new normal. When I can't see clutter, it helps me to organize my thoughts and break down the emotional clutter that I need to let go of, too.

2. Off of me, and onto others: When I go through my rotating clutter that comes in through the busy months, I find that so many of these things I can give to others. Many items, I can give to family members (items I don't or won't use, even things that were gifted to me), or to friends or someone whom I know could use the item. And most often, bags of stuff I find to eliminate will end up donated at my local thrift store, and allow tons of other people to make use of my unused items. When I focus on others, giving to others, it takes the focus off of me, and any hint of self-pity turns into the glory of giving. Shifting the focus off of me and onto others always wins the battle of the mind.

3. Out of Control, to in control: The thing about getting rid of stuff is that it's a huge way of retaking control of your life. I'm choosing what I allow in and what I want to take out. While we can't control what others do, we can control what we say, think, and do. And by extracting the things that clutter up our lives - an overstuffed closet, or a pile of things we bought that we really didn't need to buy - we gain a sense of control, a good control. We get rid of the unwanted and unneeded items and trade them for simplicity and peace of mind. 

As the holidays encroach upon us, take this time as a time to declutter all the things around you that you've been ignoring. These things are taking up valuable space in your mind! Think about giving gifts that your family and friends can use rather than "things" that sit around and take up space. And give yourself a gift this season: a holiday of simple living, filled with only the things and people you love.

When I go back to the basics of decluttering and pare down to what I love, I find that my life - even if it seems chaotic - has an order to it now. I have room to breathe, think, and live an intentional life full of giving, joy, and the willingness to deal with life as it comes to me, no matter what it is.

'Tis the season to declutter!